Wednesday, March 17, 2010

The Player FanFic

There's blood in the water. It's like a cloud is bleeding.
"Only thing that could come from this is a crop of Audrey II's," said the tough detective. When the cops in earshot asked what he meant by that he explained that Audrey II was the man-eating plant in "Little Shop of Horrors." And though it cleared that up, there was still the body blocking the sewer drain.
"Gonna be a long night" the cops said to each other as they left the detective crouching by the body, tweezers in hand.
"Gonna be as long as the sun doesn't come up" said the detective, pinching off a flake of garlic from what used to be the body's nose. He stands up in a start and shouts,"Come on! Take in this scene before it turns to dust, it's nearly half-past five!"
He walks away stopping to throw in, "You'll be dusting for fingerprints and gettin' only finger."

Police headquarters is busy, even in the morning. Especially in the morning. In this town. New York may be the city that never sleeps and New Orleans may be the city that actually never sleeps, but Hollywood is where vampires eat on the people trying to sleep. The detective slams his door, his name painted on the glass dares itself not to crack. "Detective DeLongpre".

Test results come back on the garlic, it's imported and only one store sells it. Detective DeLongpre drives to Encino where it's sold illegally from an eccentric producer's live-in gardener's basement. Under questioning the gardener says that he sells it only to one man, a writer.
"Writers," Detective DeLongpre says.
"I know," agrees the gardener.

Detective DeLongpre drives to this writer's house. Knocks. The door creaks open. He walks up to a man with his back to him, trimming some plants.
Detective DeLongpre thinks about what he could say to catch this man off-guard and gain some traction at the same time.
"You're a regular Seymour Krelborn," he says.
"Little Shop of Horrors, good one..," the writer nods.
"Detective DeLongpre," answers Detective DeLongpre.
The writer is not a tough man, not when he's dealing with humans at least. He admits to killing the vampire, proud of it even. Another case goes black for Detective DeLongpre.