Wednesday, June 10, 2009

In the Bedroom FanFic

I thought I had discovered In the Bedroom fan fiction but have now realized that what I had seen was merely a scene taking place in a bedroom. The next paragraph is an answer to what I thought I had discovered. The following will not be proof-read.

INT. KITCHEN - Morning

Matt Fowler drags himself into the kitchen of his home. It's cold because it is morning in a coastal town and because his son has been murdered by Richard Strout, a man who could be a professional son-of-a-bitch if it wasn't for the recession. Actually, if it wasn't for Matt Fowler who revenge-murdered Richard Strout before the recession he would probably get unemployment for being a son-of-a-bitch. Anyway, that's in his past now. A past that Matt Fowler carries like a house. A house tied to his back with a garden-hose, kept afloat by a parade of balloons.

He starts to mix cereal with milk. Christ, he thinks. This reminds me of everything wrong with my life. The milk will only sog his cereal, creating a ticking clock on his appetite. If only his hunger was satiated when he and his William Blake quoting cronies decided to off that son-of-a-bitch, Richard Strout. "Dick Strout," Matt Fowler chuckles. "Dead as Dick."

"DICK STROUT!" screaches Ruth Fowler, his wife. Matt quickly covers up with the speed of a lobster-trap fisherman.
"I said Pink Trout," Matt Fowler says with a sigh of relief in how clever he's become ever since he started hanging out with those poetry fiends out in the woods.

"Good," says Ruth Fowler before setting her self at their kitchen table. She puts a second spoon in the cereal, it is a welcome flirtation, akin to the days they'd order a malted with two straws. Back then it was because they were young and cute and even now it could be seen as a sign of the recession. But it wasn't, it was clear to both of them that this was flirtation. Matt Fowler saw the added benefit of knowing that two people eating the cereal will help avoid the otherwise prevalent threat of soggy Captain Crunch.

"You let me get away with everything," she crooned. He pats her head condescendingly. He apologizes for this. He thought it'd be cute. It wasn't.

Ruth Fowler stands up and grabs a plate. She's going to break it. They just bought a new set. This was bad news Matt Fowler thought. Fortunately, she explains that in some Greek houses, breaking plates is a good thing. She breaks it, but at least she's not mad at him for patting her head. She was breaking it to celebrate that she wasn't going to let that jerkish move ruin her day. In fact, the school she teaches music at just got the rights to perform "Next to Normal." Things were looking up.

They finish their dry and crunchy cereal and go their separate ways. Her to her class, he to his. However, she goes to her job to learn about life and he goes to his boat to learn about trapping lobsters, in the bedroom.

1 comment:

  1. I like the head patting the best. That was great.